Monday, January 19, 2009

My Subcultures


(Brand-Spanking-New) English Instructor
Ritual: I read the Norton Field Guide, create detailed lesson plans that are accompanied by writing assignments and in-class activities, spend a lot of time editing those lesson plans, and then spend my office hours comparing the lesson plans and assignments with other English instructors. I arrive at class about 5 minutes early, write pertinent notes on the chalkboard, squeeze into the kidney-bean-shaped circle my students have created, look at my materials for the day, and then look up to ask if anyone has any questions. I call roll, cover the material mapped out in my lesson plan, do an in-class activity, collect writing assignments, pass out new assignments, ask if my students have any questions, and then dismiss class. I leave class with a folder full of material to be graded.
Insider phrases: "What are you doing for the literacy narrative?" "How do you handle this?" "What's your attendance policy?"
Behaviors: I spend too many hours reading and way too many hours editing lesson plans at home at my computer desk. I spend also go to the library and Writing Center on a weekly basis. Overall, I spend daylight hours walking from building to building, from classroom to office and back, in clothes that I don't enjoy wearing in order to look somewhat professional. I never skip class because I am now an "example" for undergraduates to follow, so I can be found at the same places at the same times. The stress of teaching has also acted as a catalyst for my nail-biting habit, so I frequently enjoy a cuticle sandwich.

MMO (Mom's Morning Out) Member
Ritual: 9 a.m. Arrive at Community of Hope in Columbia City, Indiana, on the second Thursday of every month of the school year. Check in at the welcoming table and collect my B.A.B.E. coupon. Smile and wave. Walk downstairs to the gathering room and sit at one of six tables with six chairs. Smile and wave. Walk to the food and beverage tables to check out the breakfast dishes that are arriving. Smile and wave. Set down the juice and snack I just purchased at Kroger. Smile and wave. Return to my seat. Introduce myself to the moms arriving at my table.
9:30 a.m. Opening prayer, pregnancy and birth announcements, and a reading.
10:30 a.m. Brief activity during which I smile and say Hello to a few moms.
11:10 a.m. Everyone packs up and begins filtering out. Everyone smiles and waves.
Insider phrases: "When are you due?" "How long was your labor?" "How many kids do you have?"
Behaviors: Waving with a perma-smile plastered on our faces, eating not-good-for-you food when our guest speaker is a dietitian, whispering to each other during the long opening prayer-announcement-reading, touching each other's bellies, and looking at ultrasound photos.

Substitute Teacher
Ritual: Arrive early, check in with the office, get the sub folder and room key, go to the classroom, search for lesson plans, create lesson plans when none are found, locate the nearest bathroom and faculty lounge, and then return to the classroom and write name on the board. When class begins, I introduce myself, explain goals for the day along with the "quiet signal," and then begin following the lesson plan. When the last student has been dismissed for the day, I write the sub report, organize the teacher's desk and classroom, make contact with the absent teacher, and then check out with the office by returning the keys and sub folder.
Insider phrases: "Do you have something you want to share with the class?" "If you guys want to pass love notes, you can do that after school." "Everybody raise your hand. Touch your head. Touch your nose. Now leave it there!" "How do you define respect?" "What does your teacher do?" "Where does your teacher keep it?" "I'm sorry, but I'm not your teacher."
Behaviors: Calling the office, going to neighboring teachers for help, writing referrals, writing copious notes for the teacher, passing out stickers, "pulling cards," and showing a video when all else fails.

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